I Have Fallen to Life & Love's Mediocrity

"If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it one day when we are separated? And if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation well, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them? At the same time, I was also wondering... is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? - THE LOVE OF SIAM"

Everything is back again to where we were last time. Me trying and doing all the efforts to make things happen, and holding my own happiness just for you to be happy... because you seem to appear to be doing the same thing, and I thought that we could really make it right.

Yet at this point, you appear to be just playing around with me and with my feelings... and just trying to make me feel better and comfortable even if it's not really what you wanted...

Now I am thinking that maybe I should not really settle to be in a relationship that I am really not into... I mean, for being just the one who cares and just the one who's trying to be accepted by the other one. Also, I should try to look for the real one who would be into me as I will be into that person. And maybe in this case, I will be fair enough to myself and to my whole being as a person.

For in this world that is full of lies and fakes, no matter how I try things to be right or to even be just fine, I will forever be just an option.

"Do not waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you the way you should be appreciated... Do not ever settle for mediocrity, for being just an option, for being the one who's just fun to be with, for being the one who's always there desperately waiting for mere concern or pity, or for someone who likes you just because he knows he's got the power to break you... Do not ever settle because deep down inside, you know who you are, and you know without a doubt that you deserve better if not the best."

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In Replacement of My Stolen Mask

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first." — Jim Morrison

For the past few weeks, I seem to have misplaced the mask which I usually wear... the mask that has been a big part of my life since childhood days. And now I am left with this mask that I am not so familiar with, and I find it to be quite annoying sometimes. But little by little, I am adjusting. Its size and shape may not really suit me well at this stage, but for sure, sooner or later it would best fit me.

And now I stood here in an utmost feeling of disbelief... still trying to figure out those things that I do not understand... those that I could not even understand... those who try to stab me with desire... those who burned themselves with their stupidity and arrogance... and those who have gone really far to conspire with their own enemies, just for them to slay the name of vanity and pride, and to possess those that they could never really have.

Losing, or rather, misplacing my previous mask is indeed a real torture, not just to myself but to the culprits as well. Yes, I just have a feeling that it was not misplaced but intentionally hidden or put into somewhere else by a certain somebody who has no good intention at all.

Each day, I am becoming no good to anyone, not even to myself. And I am just wondering why I am starting to like it.

I know it's just around here some where... It is probably just hiding there, and this is not really the first time that I have misplaced it... I just know it's there, but I don't even bother to look for it. I will try to find it sooner or later, but not now, and not even at this stage. Maybe, I will have to let myself be used or fit with this current mask I am wearing so I can be what they want me to be...

They have done the unthinkable... through betrayal and lies. And I guess it's just better that I return them the favor.

They have tried to slain the previous "ME", and I believe that it's just fair enough to pretend that they have succeeded with it.

Right now, I am still trying to adjust with this mask that I am wearing. And because I am not yet used to this, maybe it would be best to give this more time, and focus on things that this would bring me with... even if it means that I have to temporarily stop dreaming, and embrace a world which is empty and void.

But don't worry, I will be just fine. I promise to find it soon enough, or maybe I will just have to wait for it to come out of the place wherever it was hidden... I will try to look for it tomorrow. But I will just try.

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When Greed Reaches the Philippines

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." - Morrie Schwartz

It has always been strange to me of why those things which we normally admire in a certain individual are most of the time associated with failure in our system. And those that we detest, like greed and being self-centered, are the ones with success... that while we admire the first quality, we then love and praise the produce of the second...

It's not so long time ago when a group of Australians landed the Philippine archipelago. They invested, built and established a stronghold of their business in the land thinking that the misbehaviors they have had with their business particularly with their employees before, way back in their own land, would be eliminated or would be avoided by employing Filipinos instead of their own race... but the scene that they're trying to avoid are eventually the scene that they're about to handle and manage, as it's becoming surreal as time continues to fly...

Desire is not bad. It is really not bad at all. It only means that you are manifesting your destiny to its optimum level with the use of your optimum potential... and this is exactly one of the the very reason why we are here in this world. And just like what I have read from a certain article, if we only take greed as a driving force in pursuit of many things like happiness besides money then everything will just fall into their right places.

But it's another story when you cross the line. It would already be like stealing... and when we speak about stealing, it is considered to be a mortal sin as it was written in the 'HOLY Book': "thou shall not steal". Also, it would surely cause you a chain of negativity in your system wherein you will eventually steal from someone else or suffer more than others had to, more than others were supposed to, and it would be for a lifetime.

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