Monday, January 26, 2009

Let's Talk About Life...

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Yes, let's talk about life... Let's talk about my current life...

I really cannot help but respond to my current life story. I have had struggles currently with depression and I am feeling completely overwhelmed with all that comes into my life as of this moment. It is tougher than what you might think it is! How could I possibly move on and live as if nothing happened, when it is too difficult for me to just get myself of bed and to even get myself out of it? When everything I do is such a chore, when I'm not even able to find joy in every good things that life's giving me, and that giving out even just a fake smile is something that I still really need to force myself to do.

Life is really too unfair... Sometimes, I just thought that I have had enough and that giving up is the only thing that would help me end up all of these...

I, just like other normal individual, have been trying to make things right and keeping everything in its supposed place... I guess it's been a lifetime that I keep doing it, but this time I need to work on it double time. And sometimes I just wonder if it really works, but then I remember that yes, I have made it! I have made it through darker times before, and surely I will make it again. That God is always with me and He has carried me all through the years, when I have believed that I can't make it and when I did not have much of the strength. I also remember that I am here because of a reason... That there are people who still needs me afterall, my family and my friends. That just like me, they are learning to pick themselves up through difficulty, because they have seen me get thru. That they are learning to talk about their struggles, and not to hide them inside, not to carry those burdens, but to lay them at the feet of the Lord, who carries them for us.

I have been very blessed for having people in my "so ruined" life who are very supportive and encouraging. I have really found it out, that it is thus important to have friends who'll encourage me, who's there to listen, and friends who don't always tell me things that I need to do until I ask it to. Friends who are very much willing to understand me. Friends who pray for me when I don't know what to do anymore. It has moved me alot, and I have had to really seek for friendships out and I have realized that in this world of ours, people can't really support me not until I ask them to.

While I am certain that I am not the only one with this pair of shoes, I am also certain that this pair is pretty much different. I just encourage myself not to give in! I believe that I am not really meant to carry on this grief alone. That while I find it so difficult to see sometimes, that I, same as what others are, was created and meant to be on this earth, to learn from this what we all call "life", and to never give up. Still I have realized all of this because of the very fact that at the end of the day, I have seen myself never alone, and that I somehow I could say that I made it... Through this day and for another day.