Monday, July 20, 2009

The Bitter Realization of the Broken Soul

12 comments

Pity for myself, for no matter how I tried not to be affected still I am affected. But what made things worst was the very fact that no matter how I wanted and tried to make things right, still I ended up unappreciated and unworthy of it.

All of us goes through our own ups and downs in life. And being labeled as civilized human being, we have what we call defense mechanisms that are socially acceptable. What is unacceptable to me now, is how events has turned the other way around and how it has affected me so much.

Like what I have mentioned before, I have never really been a kind of person who normally holds grudges because I know for a fact that it will not do me any good at all, but because of what had happened I am starting to become one. I even learned how to push my anger to its very limit.

As an individual and as a social being, it is important that we become socially aware and responsible. Not just for the good of ourselves but for others as well. But maybe what I thought and what I just did is a big mistake. I just actually tried to correct the wrong doings of a certain 'trash' since obviously, it's already becoming habitual. But such act created a certain negative image or impression in me that I just cannot comprehend and even accept no matter how I have tried. Never in my entire life that I was humiliated with such intense... that it has affected me so much and eventually became an agony.

I am currently in the mode of healing myself with this pain that is brought by bitter reality. I chose to do it just by myself to avoid complication and to avoid occurrences where I might end up losing my sanity.

Yes, I am disappointed. And I am disappointed not because of how things ended up but because of what reality had taught me. Indeed, it is really sad that there are still people in this world who could care less with the people around them, and could even done such selfish acts for the benefit of their self-centered selves. Moreover, the saddest and very disappointing part here, is for me to realize that there are really individuals who could pretend to be blind, deaf, and mute over facts in exchange of a certain prize.

I have tried controlling my emotions... and I have even tried holding it as much as I could. But instead of making me feel better, it has built and created anger, depression, pain and shame. And eventually resulted to my incapacity to think, communicate, and to socialize in the better sense.

To you who have done this to me, you will never have an idea how much pain, suffering and humiliation you have caused me! Your selfish acts need not be tolerated.

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12 COMMENTS:

Trends said...

Just think that it happened not only to test the fiber of your character but to strengthen it. God bless.

Guest said...

I understand your concern but its POINTLESS. Directly open your concern to the person involved maybe that would help...a piece of advice from your avid reader.

Wilhelmina said...

Oh dear... All I can say right now is, what comes around, goes back around. Be strong AJ

Guestring said...

Is it for real that you are a call center agent? Man, are you nuts? It seems to me that you do not know what word you are using. atenean101 has his point, maybe are not familiar with the word. Useless, I would definitely understand it, because if you use pointless, it's as if you can't even air out what you want to say.

Iris said...

Hi AJ!

Cheer up!

atenean101 said...

thank you. yea, GOD surely do. and i`m grateful coz i have my great faith in HIM though sometimes, i just can`t help but ask HIM so many questions...

atenean101 said...

@Guest: i honestly respect your opinion and i would even want to thank you for taking time to leave this entry a comment. but saying that this is pointless will only mean that you really don`t understand this concern at all. just my 2 cents.

atenean101 said...

@Guestring: well i bet you are right. i`m thankful for your regular visit and comments. haha. but there`s no need to be rude guestring.

atenean101 said...

sure sistah! i am more than just a better person now. haha.

atenean101 said...

agree! hehe. thanks for the support. well i`m better now, and i am a better person now more than i was before...

Obnoxious Queer said...

Who might be the culprit why you sistah is feeling this way? Don't worry. there are other people who care for you most! Keep Livin!

atenean101 said...

hahaha. you`ll never know. but she`s just there around. you may be the next victim. haha. miss ya sistah! charooots!