The thing is, the path’s getting narrower and narrower now. As much as I wanted to help myself out, I am always being push into a place where options become limited and never meant any advantage. I know this isn’t right but the puzzle remains unresolved as far as I can tell. It’s this thing which leads me to think I must have ruined my chances and I must have done something wrong.
The idea that “I can always change the situation” has already mutated to “If something goes wrong, it will always be my fault.” This tends to alarm and disappoint me lately. It’s like, I need to stay out of my mind and do nothing just to maintain the equilibrium or I try to move and ruin everything again.
Maybe if I can only make things right once again... yet until then, I know I'm in big trouble.