Thursday, November 19, 2009
Something's Not Right
Something is wrong. I know there is, only that it's something that I cannot determine. It seems to drain me all the time and making me lost my drive to continue what I have been passionately doing before. I seem to run on an empty tank all the time that despite of the occasional spark of inspiration, still I am left with just an empty shell and waiting for nothing.
Something's fading. It's fading like the rainbow I have seen the other day after the rain poured my place. And I know it isn't right, something's wrong. It's awfully wrong, in my perspective at least, as it has resulted to my becoming unproductive lately and making my mind a total vacuum.
Something's unclear. For some reason, I have been quite hiding from the majority. Unlike the usual stage-like person that I am, now I am trying to lead myself behind a stage curtain which is blurring things even more.
I saw myself run. And at the same time, I saw myself hide. Now, something seems to confuse me. I am left with the idea that there really is something wrong and as it continues to fade, it becomes more unclear.
Oftentimes, I rush through life busily doing things to foget the past and to not focus on what tomorrow will bring me. All I just see is the path which seems to be just plain, it seems to have no direction indicated, and everything else's just a blur. Maybe, it's really good to have some time alone and take a while to think about things. To appreciate what I have. To find ways to make things better. To imagine.