A Hope For A Better 'I'

2009 has passed and glad it's now 2010. Unlike the other years, 2009's so far the toughest one if my entire life. I become the person who I never thought I could ever be. It made me not quite who I used to be.

The passage of time, and the experiences 2009 has brought along, has caused a number of changes inside and in my entire life as whole. Wisdom and other good virtues' gained, I thought at first, yet after a closer inspection reveals something that is entirely different. The decisions and other choices I have made have caused my life to change for the worse. And despite my effort to go against negativity, still, I end up with bruises I could never tell when would be completely healed.

2009's the only year where I often find myself helpless to the tides of time as days continues to pass by. And though I always wanted to change myself in a certain way, I seem to have no control over this. I daresay everything's controlled by fate itself and so it's useless to do an effort to win over it.

But no, this isn't right! I cannot keep myself from being this person that I am not even familiar with! Although some part of it does make sense to me, still, it isn't right. It is this flood of emotion that plagues me whenever I am alone, truly alone. When all sight of me has been blocked by distance or obstruction, when my thoughts then run free, albeit in a world of darkness. And so I am glad it's now 2010.

I am grateful, at least, for the tiny point of light shining through amidst all the gloom, there is this hope for a better 'I' this new year. But I cannot do this by myself alone. I would be needing your help. At the same time I may be begging for your love and care.