Monday, November 17, 2008

An Open Message To "Mr Complicated"

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Just let me love you in silence...

I am so sorry for having no guts and strength to talk to you at all. And besides, I also don't know if you're open for a talk with me the time when I thought that I am already ready to gamble almost all of my chances in the depth of the cold dark night.

I kept myself in silence despite of the fact that I know for sure that it's useless. It's useless this time in a sense that there are things that despite the heart keeps on telling me what needs to be done but still my mind needs to push it for the words to be heard. Yes, there are really certain things that are better to be heard while feeling it.

I just don't have the guts, the strength and the confidence...

You'll lose nothing, I know it for sure. But Me? A lot! Just like the chance to hear your answer that you could also love me the way I love you, just incase.

I know, it's been a long time that I have been keeping this... that I have regretted the chances that I should have taken advantage of, to tell you all the words about what I really feel for you.

On the other hand, I have thought, that in this very complicated world of ours, I wish I should have gotten the chance to hear you saying the things that might take me out of this complication and confusion... even if how sad or bad it is...

Wish I have already told you immediately.

I always try to ask myself, my friends, and other people that I know, but there's really nobody who could answer my question but you and me. Yes, it's only YOU and ME.

I don't know how or in what way should I read you. The truth is, I really don't know if I could really read you at all... Complicated! Yes, you are too complicated and that fact only adds up to those things that I find really hard to explain.

On the other side, I guess I also should be thankful for not being that confident. Because maybe there's really a reason why I am scared... of why I have really been that scared... that maybe I couldn't take the truth that you are to say, even if how good that thing is or the other way around.

And because of this, I am thankful.

What I am saying is... just let me love you in silence...