Thursday, September 4, 2008


Leave a Comment
Now, let`s talk about fear... and those other things that links to it.

So what are fears? According to some definitions I`ve read, fears are
irrational beliefs about how an object, event, happening, or feeling will result in negative, disastrous, life threatening, disturbing, or unsettling consequences for you. They`re negative self-scripts you have either given yourself or that were given to you about how you will suffer dire consequences if you involve yourself in certain activities, behavior, or events. And they`re disabling beliefs you carry in yourself that prevent you from living a productive, healthy, and growth-enhancing life.

Let say for example, you want to try out something new... when it comes to trying out something new, there`s always a degree of fear involved. First is the fear to be criticized, second the fear of getting rejected, and lastly the fear to commit failure. But face it, no one is really exempted from failure, making mistakes or simply making a complete fool of yourself... not unless you don`t pla
n to do anything, of course.

I`ll quote a message from Terry Bragg, author of 31 Days to High Self-Esteem. According to him, "Most people do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try - because they are afraid they will fail."

Don`t be afraid! Overcome your fear and move forward. Bragg suggests some of the following steps:
  1. DO SOMETHING. Fear immobilizes you. Take heart, be brave and just do it. If it doesn`t turn out the way you expect it, do something else. Just do something!
  2. TRY, TRY, TRY. The only time you don`t fail, is the last time you try anything. Don`t give up. Someone once said, "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this things that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." So, don`t stay down. Get up and just try another way to do it.
  3. DON`T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Making a mistake doesn`t mean that you are a failure. Failure is not a personality characteristic.
  4. TAKE A DIFFERENT ROUTE. If what you`ve been doing isn`t working, try another approach. Bragg cites an old saying, "if you always do what you`ve always done, you`ll always get what you always got."
  5. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. A failed attempt at something can be a blow to anyone`s ego. At the very least, you`ll find out what doesn`t work.
  6. LEARN FROM IT. When something doesn`t work out the way you want it, ask yourself these questions: [1] What was the mistake? [2] Why did it happen? [3] How could it have been prevented? [4] How can I do better next time? Then do things differently, this time. We all make mistakes. Repeating them is another matter.

P.S. If you are seious and want to be more inspired about improving yourself & your self-esteem, and overcoming your very own fears, then I suggest that you read the book of Terry Bragg - 31 Days to High Self-Esteem. It`s simple and easy to understand, and objectives are clear and obtainable... surely a must-have!